I TRULY, MADLY; DEEPLY HATE her for being better than I am. for knowing her job better, for looking better and for being more clever. i wasnt dismissed for some blond stupid gild, but for some blond intelligent, bastardly good working girl, that has 10 kilos less that i am.

someone once told me
that you have to choose
what you win or lose
you cant have everything
dont you take chances
you might feel the pain
dont you love in vain
cause love wont set you free
i could stand by the side
and watch this life pass me by
so unhappy but safe as could be

so what if it hurts me
so what if i break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
my feet run out of ground
i gotta find my place
i wanna hear my sound
dont care about other pain infront of me
cause im just tryna be happy, yea
just wanna be happy, yeah...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zkGbp6otj4

solltest du nicht bei mir sein? SOLLTEST DU NICHT AUSGERECHNET JETZT BEI MIR SEIN? nein, du bist nicht bei mir. du bist bei der neuen. und nicht bei mir. was habe ich erwartet? liebe, zuneigung. große liebe? ja, wahrscheinlich. das alles. alles das. nur nicht das.

Sit... behave... be a nice little girl... and when you are done with that... just keep on smiling.

My life should be like running shushi, with nice little food on a conveyor band. And I will be sitting there, picking-up my happy food and be happily smiling in my happy world.

Die Wogen dann geglättet sind, werden wir dann so tun als wäre alles wieder Licht?